Portland Queer Girl City Guide

Have you seen Autostraddle’s Queer Girl City Guide to Portland? This in-depth guide lists all kinds of queer-friendly restaurants, bars, coffee shops, strip clubs, hair salons, and tattoo shops in PDX, as well as events — such as queer dance nights, Portland Pride, and a plethora of other rad LGBTQ functions.

There’s a lot of love for our home, North Portland, in this guide! Under “Neighborhoods of Interest,” NoPo is listed as a “Gayborhood” (amazing!). Many businesses in our area are listed, including Bishop’s (which just moved in down the street from us), Mississippi Studios / Bar Bar, The Florida Room, Sloan’s Tavern, Cup and Saucer, and Icon Tattoo. We were excited to see She Bop listed under “Etc.” as Portland’s local, female-owned sex toy shop. Here’s what they have to say about us:

[She Bop offers] a positive environment, helpful staff and a range of high quality sex toys. The shop also offers classes and workshops such as The Joys of Toys! & Exploring Burlesque: Striptease Salon.

The guide also gives a run-down of queer-friendly Portland colleges, sports teams, performing arts groups, outdoor adventure spots, and several non-profits we support, such as Bitch Media, In Other Words, and the Q Center.

Near the end of the guide, there’s an analysis of the diversity, safety, cost of living, and overall queer-friendliness of Portland, concluding that Portland is “very queer-friendly” and “very body positive, sex positive and accepting of gender variant identities.”

Within the city limits, queers are seen everywhere and go relatively unnoticed by the general population. Walking around town, you’ll see many different business with the HRC equality sticker hanging on a window, or a rainbow flag. Portland makes us queers feel very welcomed.

The overall atmosphere of the city is SUPER friendly. When walking around on a sunny day, expect smiles and nods from strangers and friendly waves. People in Portland are very chill, accepting, and friendly overall.

Autostraddle has published many other Queer Girl City Guides, including one for Seattle and one for Spokane. Really cool resources — check them out!

  Community News, Press      Portland, queer  

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She Bop’s Picks: Mother’s Day

What’s the best way to show your partner that you appreciate all that they do this Mother’s Day? Well, there’s always flowers and chocolate, but if you’re looking for something that nurtures mom’s sexuality, we have some ideas for you! Like the adorable Kandi Kisses, a sophisticated, USB-rechargeable vibe disguised as a tube of lipstick. It’s just begging to be tossed into a handbag!

Have you heard about Fifty Shades of Grey? This saucy tale of a dominant and his submissive has recently been lauded as the hottest thing in the bookbags of moms everywhere, and its boundary-breaking style is delightful and titillating.

If Fifty Shades of Grey isn’t quite mom’s style, no problem — we stock several great books about keeping your sex life alive while raising kids: Love in the Time of Colic, Sexy Mamas, and Great Sex for Moms. More general sex guides, such as Never Have the Same Sex Twice and The Whole Lesbian Sex Book, are good too.

Or here’s an idea: buy a book to improve your own skills in the bedroom — something from the oral sex guides section, perhaps? — then put your newfound knowledge into action.

Has the mom in your life ever owned a Hitachi Magic Wand? It’s a classic powertool of a vibrator that many folks swear by, sure to satisfy even the most power-hungry. Or check out the Mystic Wand (which comes in both black and pink), a smaller version that takes batteries but certainly doesn’t skimp on power, either.

Another vibe that might strike mom’s fancy is the Calla, a rechargeable and fully waterproof dual toy with a unique, rippled shape. Its small, tapered shaft makes it great for beginners and those who don’t like a lot of girth, while the clitoral piece provides the perfect amount of buzz right where it’s needed.

When it comes to non-vibrating toys, kegel exercisors are a wonderful gift for moms. Regularly exercising the PC muscles brings a whole bunch of sexual benefits — more sensitivity during sex, better orgasms, and an enhanced feeling of tightness — but it also helps with incontinence and postpartum healing. We like the Ami set because it makes kegels more fun, and gives the user several options that can be utilized at different stages.

If mom’s in need of a good all-purpose lube, look no further than Sliquid Satin. Infused with aloe and carragenean, this water-based lube is both slick and moisturizing. It’s also specially formulated to provide natural comfort to anyone experiencing vaginal dryness.

Was mom around during porn’s “golden age” (late ’60s through mid-’80s)? Then mom might enjoy seeing some of the most famous movies to come out of that era, such as Debbie Does Dallas, The Devil in Miss Jones, or Alice in Wonderland. The hairstyles will bring mom right back, and the amusing storylines can’t be beat!

Massages are always a hit, especially with stressed out moms. We have all the components you need to give a rockin’ massage: massage oils (Oil of Love, Hathor Exotic Love Oil, Intimate Organics Massage Oil, and the Love Oil sampler), a porcelain massage stone, and even an instructional DVD.

Of course, if you can’t decide on something specific, everyone loves receiving a gift certificate! We offer gift certificates in any denomination. Take a field trip down to She Bop together and we can help mom find the perfect toy.

Maybe the best gift isn’t an actual product, but instead a shared experience: pick up tickets for you both to attend Tristan Taormino’s Feminist Porn Show at Mississippi Studios next month. Feminist porn on the big screen! Drinks at Bar Bar! It’s going to be a blast.

  She Bop's Picks      books, kegel exercise, lube, massage, porn, vibrators  

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10% Tuesdays in May for TransActive’s In A Bind program!

Throughout the month of May, 10% of all purchases made at She Bop on Tuesdays will go to TransActive’s In A Bind program! TransActive is a Portland-based non-profit that provides a wide range of services to transgender and gender nonconforming children, youth, and their families. Their In A Bind program, which just launched in March, provides chest binders to trans-masculine youth in need. It is the first national chest binder donation/distribution program, and the requests for binders are already rolling in.

All proceeds from this fundraiser will be used to purchase binders from our distributor and donate them to TransActive. We will also have a drop-off box in the shop where you can donate binders!

So come on down to the shop on any Tuesday in May to support this amazing program. Be sure to follow TransActive on Facebook and Twitter, and check out this interview with the Program Coordinator for In A Bind, conducted by our very own sales associate and educator, Wyatt Riot!

And don’t miss the launch party for the In A Bind program, hosted by Basic Rights Oregon at Hamburger Mary’s on June 7th from 6 to 9 p.m.

  Community News, Sales      10% Tuesdays  

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Guide to traveling with sex toys

Hustling sex toys through airport security, onto a plane, and eventually to your destination can be a tricky and worrisome process. The good news is, sex toys are becoming more expected at the airport. Last July, we wrote about a news story making the rounds in which the Transportation Safety Administration (TSA) admitted that sex toys did not bother them very much.

However, it’s their job to look for electronic devices, explosives, and potential weapons — and sex toys can still be mistaken as harmful, so precautions are necessary.

The first thing you should do, if you’re traveling within the United States, is read up on current TSA policies. If you’re traveling internationally, look up country-specific travel information. Especially do your research before jetting off to a foreign country (or Alabama) with your toys, as some places forbid sex toys and/or porn. It may even be worthwhile to consider alternative transportation methods, such as train or bus. The following tips are for air travel.

Checked vs. carry-on

If you decide to take your toys with you, your first choice will be whether to pack them in your carry-on or checked luggage. There are pros and cons to each. Carry-ons don’t run the risk of getting lost, but they are subject to more public scrutiny. Checked luggage isn’t searched in front of everyone, but a few travelers have reported that toys were removed from their checked bags — never to be seen again.

When it comes to searching checked bags, the TSA may simply be confused; if they don’t know what something is, it’s easier for them to deem it dangerous and confiscate it. Since you won’t be there to give them an explanation of the item, put it in a plastic bag with an identifying label (“dildo,” “vibrator,” or even just “sex toy” — something easily understood). Never put your toys in something the TSA can’t open, as they’d have the authority to break into it anyway.

If you put your toys in carry-ons, the plastic bag tip still applies — mostly because you don’t want the TSA getting their grubby hands on your personal items if they do decide to pull them out for inspection. Where you pack the sex toys is up to you. If you put them on top of everything, they’ll be easier to access if the TSA asks about them. On the other hand, if you stick them between layers of clothing, that could buy you some time to explain yourself and ask that your bag be searched in private.

Be sure to leave yourself some extra time at the airport if you pack your toys in a carry-on, just in case your experience at the security terminal takes longer than usual.

Avoid the buzz

The last thing you want is for anyone to think your bag contains a bomb, so always take the batteries out of battery-operated toys — don’t just flip them around or assume the switch will stay in the “off” position. A TSA agent has explained that, under the security scanner, vibrators with batteries inside can resemble the barrel of a loaded gun!

Many high-end rechargeable vibrators, like those from LELO and Jimmyjane, have travel lock functions. Read about them in your toy’s manual and be sure to employ them correctly. If your rechargeable toy doesn’t have a travel lock, drain its battery completely before travel.

If you’re worried about the shape of your toy raising eyebrows, opt for an inconspicuous vibe such as the I Rub My Duckie, Gossip Ring, or Mia (which just happens to pass completely as a USB flashdrive).

Tools — er, dildos

According to the TSA, “tools” less than 7 inches in length are allowed in carry-on luggage. However, if the item is “club-like” or can be mistaken as a weapon, don’t pack it in a carry-on. Try to imagine your dildo or butt plug under the security scanner — will it look sinister somehow?

Since even belt buckles set off the metal detectors at security, there’s no way a metal dildo or butt plug will get through unnoticed in a carry-on. Same goes for strap-on harnesses with metal buckles, rings, or fixtures. Consider packing a fabric harness instead, and put your metal toys in your checked luggage.

As with any fragile item, pack a glass or ceramic dildo by wrapping it up thoroughly in soft cloth.

Follow 3-1-1 with lube

Lube is, of course, a liquid, so for carry-ons, you must follow the 3-1-1 rule with it (and other liquids such as massage oil). Liquids must be in 3.4 ounce or less sized bottles, then placed into a single quart, clear, plastic ziplock bag. Even a half-empty container of lube is not acceptable if the container exceeds 3.4 ounces, which most do. So try purchasing a small plastic container and filling it with your favorite lube. Or pack lube samples, which are all less than 3.4 ounces.

To avoid this rule, stick your lubes in your checked luggage (but keep them secured in a ziplock bag so they won’t leak all over everything!).

BDSM toys

There are conflicting reports about the TSA’s response to BDSM toys such as restraints, whips, floggers, leashes, etc. in carry-ons. Since BDSM toys can be even more stigmatized and misunderstood than the average sex toy, we suggest erring on the side of caution. If your toy could be considered a weapon (handcuffs, anything sharp… really, a lot of BDSM toys), put it in checked baggage.

Attitude is everything

Ultimately, the most important part of traveling with sex toys is staying calm. Owning sex toys and wanting to bring them on trips is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of! But security may ask you to open your bag if they are concerned about anything, or you may be picked for a random search. If this happens, don’t panic. Tell the agent simply, “that’s my butt plug.” Don’t dance around the truth, and definitely don’t become argumentative. The more matter-of-fact you are, the better it makes you look.

More often than not, the TSA agent will be surprised by your candor and send you on your way. It is entirely possible that the agent may be more embarrassed than you are. Travelers have reported TSA agents giggling, smiling, and pointing things out on the screen to their co-workers. If a TSA agent harasses or tries to humiliate you, file a formal complaint with the TSA.

But overall, confidence can make a world of difference. Take it from a guy who had to deal with TSA agents making a big deal about a whip, but handled it with finesse:

I look at all the people around me and feel like the whole airport — passengers, ticket agents, security guards — are giving me the benefit of the doubt on this one, at least in part because I’m refusing to have it any other way. My lack of embarrassment, my lack of apology, is defining the moment and telling everyone how to respond. I feel exceptionally powerful. It is the liberation of one more level of coming out, of refusing to be made wrong for being different, for being sexually different.

Or better yet, remember these words from Ethan Imboden, founder of Jimmyjane:

Take comfort in the fact that these guys have seen it all. If the TSA agent shakes their head as you pass through, it might simply be to express their disappointment that you’re only bringing one vibrator, whereas you’ve packed 7 pairs of shoes.

We want to hear your stories!

Have you had experience traveling with your sex toys? Run-ins with the TSA? We want to hear all about it! Comment below with your story. The writer of our favorite story will win a locally-made Appetite travel bag! We’ll also compile the answers into a post.

  Guides      travel  

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She Bop Presents The Feminist Porn Show with Tristan Taormino

Tuesday, June 5th — Mississippi Studios — Doors 7 p.m., pre-show 7:30 p.m., show 8 p.m. — $25

Join us for a special evening showcasing feminist porn, a genre of adult films and a growing movement!

Tristan Taormino will share a brief history and definition of feminist porn, then screen a special compilation curated by her, which includes clips from the work of feminist porn pioneers and newcomers including Candida Royalle, Annie Sprinkle, Nina Hartley, Petra Joy, Erika Lust, Shine Louise Houston, Madison Young, Courtney Trouble, and more. The screening will be followed by a facilitated discussion, where we’ll explore some of the current issues surrounding feminist porn.

The pre-show will include a sexy performance from Felice Shays. Afterward, Tristan will stick around to sign books and videos, and the party can continue at the adjoining Bar Bar!

Tristan Taormino is a writer, sex educator, speaker, and feminist pornographer. She is the author of seven books and editor 25 anthologies including her latest, The Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM, Role Play and the Erotic Edge. She is co-editor of The Feminist Porn Book: The Politics of Producing Pleasure, the first collection that includes writings by scholars, academics, producers and performers about feminist porn, forthcoming in 2013 from The Feminist Press. She runs the adult film production company Smart Ass Productions and is an exclusive director for Vivid Entertainment. She has directed and produced twenty-four sex education and porn films including the groundbreaking series based on real female kink fantasies, Rough Sex, and the Expert Guide sex education series, which she created for Vivid-Ed. She was the first female director to win an AVN Award for Best Gonzo Movie for the debut film in her reality series Chemistry, and she received the Trailblazer Award at the Feminist Porn Awards in 2010.

This event is general admission, so get there early for a good seat. Tickets are available in person at She Bop and Mississippi Studios. If you buy tickets online, there is a $4.40 service charge.

Tickets can be purchased online here!

  Events      Felice Shays, feminist porn, porn, Tristan Taormino  

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Switch up your masturbation routine!

May is Masturbation Month, and of course, we encourage everyone to celebrate — as often as possible! Last year, we recounted all the ways masturbation is beneficial to your emotional and physical health. This year, we thought we’d give you some ideas for trying something new during your usual masturbation routine.

• Try a different position – Most people get used to masturbating in a favorite position. Break out of the mold and try a new one, such as lying on your side, sitting up, on your back, on your knees, or on your stomach. You’ll find that the usual sensations will feel different just from making this change.
• Find a new locale – If the bed is your usual masturbation domain, try masturbating somewhere else — such as the couch, at your desk, or in the bath or shower (if you bring a toy, make sure it’s waterproof!). You could even set up your own little masturbation nest on the floor with pillows and blankets.
• Use your toy(s) in a new way — If you have an anal toy or dildo with an unusual shape, try flipping it around. If you own a dildo made of a soft material, hold a vibrator against its base for added buzz. If you have an insertable vibrator, perhaps it could be used clitorally?
  Any vibrator can also be used on a penis! Or make your masturbation sleeve into a hands-free device by tucking it between your mattress and box spring. And many toys out there — dildos, waterproof vibes, anal toys, and masturbation sleeves — can be warmed or chilled before use by placing them in a bowl of water in your desired temperature.
• Lube it up – Lube makes everything glide more easily, so it can enhance masturbation quite a bit. Stroke 29 and Boy Butter H20 are specially formulated for stimulating a penis, while Yes and Sliquid Sea are wonderful for vulvas. Stimulating gels, like Stimulating O Gel or ON Clitoral Arousal Balm, can be especially fun. (Just don’t use silicone-based lube with a silicone toy!)
• Watch or read porn — If you’re not a regular erotica reader or porn watcher, consider giving one of them a whirl. My Erotic Adventure is a fun and interactive intro to the world of written erotica, and Erika Lust’s Barcelona Sex Project DVD is chock-full of alluring folks eager to share their masturbation techniques with you.
• Fantasize – If porn doesn’t do it for you or you already read/watch it regularly, try fantasizing instead. This can be an excellent way to explore erotic scenarios that you may or may not act out in real life. Try thinking about a hot past sexual experience, a sexy movie scene, or just let your mind wander into the realm of your deepest, most hidden desires.
• Engage your senses — Make it into a truly epic experience by delighting as many of your senses as possible. Listen to music. Light a candle or dim the lights. You could even eat something delicious, making your masturbation session a literal feast for the senses!
• Make some noise! – There’s no need to keep quiet during masturbation unless you have to. If you’re able to vocalize your pleasure, let loose! It can be very freeing to be able to experience that release.

Is your mind racing with ideas yet? Good! Now go on… celebrate Masturbation Month!

  Guides      anal toys, dildos, erotica, lube, Masturbation Month, masturbation sleeves, porn, vibrators  

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Making Open Relationships Work with Tristan Taormino

Sunday, June 3rd — 7:30 pm. — $25

Do open relationships really work? How do people create nontraditional partnerships that are loving and lasting? Tristan Taormino, relationship expert and author of Opening Up, shares some of the key principles that can help your open relationship(s) succeed.

Tristan will discuss common issues and problems — from “new relationship energy” and time management to jealousy and agreement violations — and ways to address and resolve them. She’ll offer tips on communication, negotiation, and boundary setting, as well as how to cope with change. Learn how to get to the root of jealous feelings and transform them by embracing the concept of compersion. Whether you’re a newcomer or veteran to the world beyond monogamy, come discover strategies to help you nurture and grow your open relationship(s).

Tristan Taormino is an award-winning author, columnist, editor, and sex educator. She is the author of seven books and runs her own adult film production company, Smart Ass Productions. She directs three porn series for Vivid Entertainment: a reality series called Chemistry; Vivid-Ed, a sex education series; and Rough Sex, a vignette series based around women’s real fantasies. She was a syndicated columnist for The Village Voice for nine and a half years and writes an advice column for Taboo Magazine. Tristan has been featured in over 200 publications and has appeared on CNN, HBO’s Real Sex, Loveline, MTV, Oxygen, The Discovery Channel, and on over four dozen radio shows. She teaches sex and relationship workshops around the world.

This workshop will be held at the Q Center, which is 3 blocks up the street from She Bop at the corner of Mississippi and Mason (4115 N. Mississippi).

Limited space available — sign up online!

  Events      open relationships, polyamory, Tristan Taormino  

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Rough Sex For Everyone: Consent and Desire

Thursday, May 24th — 7:30 p.m. — $20

The sweet intersection of a slap and a kiss. The rough and tumble of a spank and caress, of a commanding voice and a gentle stroke, of a laugh and a growl.

Does this sound like you? Or do you wish it could?

Come join hugely popular sex and BDSM educator Felice Shays as she teaches you to use your hands, mouth, toys, and imagination to delve deep into what is often taboo and always crazy hot. Felice will address what it is to take and give power, and how we can lose society’s prescriptions as we cross the bedroom threshold.

Throughout the workshop, with levity and straight talk, Felice will share provocative techniques on how to find and express your own desire, how to push through fears that might be preventing you from discovering new sexual and sensual highs, and of course, how to spank, slap, restrain, and more. We will explore communication, emotional limits and release, safety, partnered positions, head space, anatomy, dirty talk, and helpful items.

All genders, sexual proclivities, singles, couples, and other relationship configurations welcome. Bring your questions and your curiosity.

Known for her straight talk infused with humor, Felice Shays provides personal sexual and BDSM education across the US and Canada. Felice provides sex and BDSM counseling to individuals and couples, and has presented at a plethora of events, groups, and private functions for a decade. Felice also produces sex and BDSM parties for women and trans people.

Limited space available — sign up online!

  Events      BDSM, Felice Shays, rough sex  

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Tease a Peel: Classic Burlesque Peeling Techniques

Wednesday, May 16th — 7:15 p.m. — $15

Portland burlesque sensation Madison Moone is back by popular demand with a sultry new class sure to awaken your inner diva!

Students will be guided through a sexy burlesque movement study including bumps, grinds and struts, followed by a tantalizing round of peeling techniques. We will explore classic tools of the trade such as nylon stockings and opera length gloves while learning graceful transitions to help you tease with ease! Class will conclude with a sassy group striptease, leaving you and your girlfriends feeling like glamazons!

Students should dress in comfortable clothes; shorts or a skirt are preferred. Please bring your favorite heels (slip ons are best), nylon stockings, and elbow length gloves for peeling. Miss Moone will have extras on hand. All levels of fitness welcome; no dance experience or nudity required. Please avoid alcohol consumption before attending and arrive by 7:15 p.m. Class will begin promptly at 7:30 p.m, with no late entrance after 7:45 p.m. No photographs are permitted.

Limited space available — sign up online!

  Events      burlesque, Madison Moone  

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The crusade against phthalates and toxic toys

When Jennifer Pritchett opened The Smitten Kitten, her goal was to run a sex-positive, feminist adult retail store. But that mission expanded when she discovered the issue of toxic sex toys. She had never heard the word “phthalates” before, but three days before the store’s grand opening in August of 2003, while opening a shipment of inventory, she saw the chemicals in action.

You know those styrofoam packing peanuts? They were moist. And the moisture had oozed through the peanuts and into the cardboard box, so it looked like, you know when you put chocolate chip cookies on a grocery bag and they leave grease marks? That’s what the box looked like . . . They were leaking, oozing, this . . . oily substance . . . And it reeked. It smelled so bad. I’ve told people before, it smells like a headache.

Not knowing what on earth was going on, Pritchett and her staff washed the toys and set them on towels. But it didn’t help — more beads of sweat appeared on the toys. Pritchett called their distributor, who explained that “it happens all the time” and promised replacements. Then she called Metis Black, president of Tantus, who said, “you know what that is, don’t you?”

Pritchett quickly went to work researching phthalates and toxins in sex toys. She talked to others in the industry, fought with her distributor, and realized how huge of an issue she had stumbled upon. It was at this point that the mission of The Smitten Kitten shifted to encompass social justice, environmental justice, and personal health. The store’s entire inventory was revamped, despite the fact that eliminating the toxic toys made it difficult to fill even a 500 square foot shop.

Now there was an explanation for all the burning, rashes, bacterial infections, and unexplained irritation that consumers were having after using sex toys. Still, the conversation needed to change, because most consumers just thought they were too sensitive. Pritchett explains,

What we really worked to do was flip that conversation around. Your body’s having a perfectly natural and appropriate reaction to a toxic toy. To chemicals that were never meant to be in consumer products, and certainly not in consumer products that you come into that intimate of contact with . . . That really resonated with people . . . And then we started to shift the responsibility from our bodies to those products, and to those manufacturers, and those distributors, and those stores.

Pritchett even sent the industry’s 10 bestselling jelly toys to an independent lab in California, where many were found to contain various chemicals that are known to cause cancer, birth defects, and hormonal disruption. In some toys, up to 68% of the total volume of the toy was a hazardous phthalate.

Now, almost 9 years later, we know a bit more about phthalates and toxic sex toys, and many stores (like us and the others in the Progressive Pleasure Club) stock only body-safe toys. But we wouldn’t be at this point without Pritchett and other brave industry folks taking a stand and knowing that a smelly, oily sex toy should not come in contact with anyone’s genitals.

  Community News, Fun Info      phthalates  

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