We received some wonderful — and hilarious — stories about your travels with sex toys on our recent guide to traveling with sex toys! It was really hard to choose just one favorite, but we decided the winner of the Appetite travel bag was Megan, with her amusing story about a large dildo that, after raising eyebrows at the security scanner at the airport, garnered the nickname “Hillshire”:
After I placed my bag on the conveyor I watched the agent look at the X-Ray of my bag, then turn her head in that “Dog knows there’s a treat in your hand” sort of way. I swear I could see her floppy ear twitch with curiosity. I noticed my increasing discomfort and an anxious laugh escapes my lips. I see her call over another TSA agent and point at the screen, discuss, and look again. While I know this only took 30 seconds, it felt like AN HOUR of fidgeting for me. Yep, next thing you know I’m called to the side by a male agent asking to look through my bag. As we walk to a table and he is asking permission to go through my belongings, I say to him in a firm but quiet voice, “I have some very personal items in my bag and would appreciate discretion.” I gave him the eye and nodded towards a family with four middle age children near by. My comment made his slight grin increase, but he caught my drift and moved us to a curtained area, then proceded to very quickly pull out a VERY LARGE black dildo, at which point he said to me, “We thought it was either that or a big ol’ sausage! We just had to check.” We both had an awkward chuckle and I went on down the terminal. That dildo earned the name Hillshire from that day on.
Another funny story came from Natassia, whose vibrator was re-purposed by her grandmother while she was out on the town:
The first and last time I ever took a vibrator with me on a trip was to Japan. I had no trouble getting it into the country, but after about 3 days or staying with my grandmother at her brother and sister-in-law’s house, my vibrator was anything but discreet. I had gone for a walk around their town outside of Tokyo, and returned to see my grandmother sitting on their floor pillows with my vibrator on her neck. She said she found it when she was putting my clean laundry back into my suitcase and it was just perfect for between her upper back and neck. I was speechless. Luckily it was clean and no one in the house knew what it was.
We loved Rose’s candor with the TSA agents when going through the security line with a bunch of sex toys packed in a carry-on. Half the battle is educating the people who search the bags, and she looks forward to it:
. . . Walking up to the security check point I was just hoping for them to open my carry on. I placed it on the conveyer and just waited. And yes, they picked up my bag and wanted me to open it.
While opening it I said it was probably the sex toys and the security lady searched through the bag and when she was satisfied she asked me if it was alright if she put it through the X-Ray machine again so she could educate the guy behind the machine on how sex toys look! At this point I was giggling and said that it was okay and I was just staring at the guy behind the machine as he was educated. He obviously was a little embarrassed, especially when he looked at me and saw me giggle.
So yeah, traveling with toys is fun for me, and I make it a sport to make sure they open my carry on!
Cindy commented with a reassuring story about years of traveling with BDSM toys. Turns out, she has had no incidents whatsoever!
I travel a lot to attend kinky conferences and BDSM events. Initially, I was pretty nervous about traveling with a bag full of rope, bandage shears (bondage is my main kink) and a few choice dildos/vibrators I can’t go anywhere without. After doing a fair bit of research I decided to just take the experience head on. I packed a carry-on bag with my rope, making sure to lay the dildos right on top. I figured, why not? I have nothing to be ashamed of and if it really became an issue I’d be willing to check my bag and be done with it. I elected to purchase a pair of shears at the venue since they’re cheap and easy to come by and definitely fall into the ‘sharp and dangerous’ category. Walking up to that first security line, I was totally convinced that some TSA agent would be reaching into my bag, pulling out the big glitter cock and asking what it was. I’d have no choice but to be honest, responding, “Why that’s my strap-on dick, of course!” right there in front of everyone. Surprisingly, no one raised an eyebrow as the bag full of rope and cocks went through the x-ray, either coming or going and they still haven’t, all these years later.
Thank you for all your stories, and may your future travels be stress-free!