Big Big Love: A Sex and Relationships Guide for People of Size (and Those Who Love Them) is a landmark body-positive book that was originally published in 2000. In 2011, it was majorly overhauled and re-released, and we quickly added it to our catalog. The revised Big Big Love contains new illustrations, interviews, quotes, and resources, as well as more inclusive language surrounding sexuality and gender identity.
Author Hanne Blank was interviewed on both Salon and Bitch about the release. In her interview with Salon, Blank discusses myths about fat sex, what sex and fatness have in common, benefits to fat sex, and fat fetishism. To the question, “Why is a book about fat sex necessary? What is so different about fat sex?”, Blank responds:
What is so different about fat sex is that it’s one of the kinds of sex that mainstream culture tells us we’re not supposed to want, have or approve of. There’s a machine, a huge cultural and industrial juggernaut that is devoted to making us believe that the right kind of sex and the right kind of sexual desirability is the be-all-end-all.
And in her interview with Bitch — which was actually conducted by one of She Bop’s fabulous sales ladies, Yana! — Blank offers her views on reclaiming the word fat, what fat activisim and feminism have in common, fat-negativity in the media, and even her crushes on queer porn director Courtney Trouble and erotic icon April Flores. When Bitch asks, “Who was Big Big Love written for?” Blank says,
BBL was written for people who have bodies and who also negotiate their own sexuality, especially if — but not exclusively if — they’re fat. It’s also for anyone who is or has ever been attracted to, interested in or in a relationship with someone who is, was or might someday be fat.
. . . It’s not exactly a big secret that people with bodies of all different sizes often feel that their bodies are “not good enough” for them to deserve happy, healthy, satisfying sex lives. Threats of undesirability or unloveability are used to terrorize, oppress and silence women. It is a cultural dictate that “good,” “successful,” “real” women are those who are sexually desired, objectified and the objects of a particular kind of love that is directly connected to a particular model of physical attractiveness. In the book, I call this out for the hurtful, insidious bullshit that it is.
Indeed. And that is why Big Big Love is such an important book — it’s really written for everyone.