Interview with Jiz Lee for Fisting Day 2012!

Tomorrow, October 21st, we will celebrate the second annual Fisting Day, created in 2011 by queer porn revolutionaries Jiz Lee and Courtney Trouble as a way to honor the act of fisting and debunk myths about it.

Courtney and Jiz are ramping up the festivities this year, making it an even more action-packed day. At 6 p.m. PST on QueerPorn.tv, there will be a livestream sex ed presentation, Fisting 101 For All Genders, taught by Tobi Hill-Meyer. And for just one day on Indie Porn Revolution, there will be a free scene from the film Fucking Different XXX, featuring a real life couple in a romantic, yet explicit, love story.

Folks over 18 are invited to share their own fisting content (photos, videos, links), anonymously or not, on the Fisting Day Tumblr. You can also RSVP for Fisting Day on Facebook and follow the hashtag #fistingday.

As for us, we managed to snag an interview with fisting connoisseur Jiz Lee! Read on for Jiz’s tips for first time fisters, their tools of the trade, their fondest fisting experience, why they think fisting is still off-limits in most porn, and what they’ll be doing to celebrate Fisting Day.

What are some myths surrounding fisting that need to be dispelled?

Off the cuff — ahem — some myths are that fisting hurts, and causes bleeding. Also that it needs to be done with poppers or other drugs that might numb the pain. There’s a myth that your vagina or ass will stretch and not be as tight as it was prior to fisting. And, there’s also the myth that it’s only done in homosexual sex — that is, we hear that it’s common in gay men’s porn and sex clubs, or that it’s primarily a lesbian taboo sex act.

While I agree that it might be more common for sexual partners who experiment with sex other than that of penis/vagina, the truth is that sexual partners of all genders and orientations can enjoy fisting.

Do you have any special tips for someone easing into fisting for the first time?

The biggest tip, I think, is not to force it. Don’t try too hard. Forcing can hurt. If you have fears around pain, forcing it will only confirm that discomfort. If you’re not ready, not wanting it, that’s OKAY. It’s okay if you cannot get past the thumb. You can always try again. And, it’s just as okay if it doesn’t happen on the first try, as it is on the twentieth attempt. The point is to enjoy it, right? So let pleasure be the guide. (Incidentally, I have similar advice on G-spot ejaculation. Patience and pleasure are essential.)

Naturally, good-fitting latex or non-latex gloves are helpful, as is good lubricant. Coat a bit of lube on your fingers and hand before putting the glove on; this will not only make the glove a bit easier to slip on, but will also put a layer of fluid between your skin and the glove, which can conduct heat and sensation so you’ll feel a little bit closer to your lover.

For lubricant tips, water-based gel is a nice lube as it can line the anus or vagina with a thick layer of lube to protect your delicate insides. Silicone is also a popular choice, as it is really slick, and will stay slick for a long time. You can even blend the two lubes together, making a “lube salad” of your favorite types and combining the best of their desired qualities.

What are your personal tools of the trade — your favorite toys, lube, and accessories to compliment fisting?

For water-based I like a nice thick gel, and for a slippery silicone I like Pjur. For gloves, I usually keep black gloves around, in both latex and nitrile (non-latex) varieties.

I sometimes like clitoral stimulation in addition to deep internal pressure. At times, something as strong as the Hitachi Magic Wand is perfect. Other times, gentler vibrations like those from the (waterproof) Form 6 by Jimmyjane are nice. When I have “too much” sensitivity, I find that my vagina can clench a bit tight as I enjoy the vibration — therefore laying off the intensity by using my fingers or a “softer” vibrator is nice.

If you are experimenting with size and girth, dildos could be a fun way to start eroticizing width and pleasure. For example, the Randy dildo by Vixen Creations is a toy fit for a (size) queen. If Randy is too big, try the Maverick, or another silicone toy; the material squishes a bit when you squeeze it, that “give” makes it more giving for trying things out.

Liberator’s Fascinator Throe is a good fisting accessory for those prone to gushing with G-spot pressure. Fisting can put pressure on this area so it’s not uncommon to have ejaculation while fisting. (Or, when the fisting hand slides out and frees up that pressure area for an exciting release!)

I’d also like to take a moment to congratulate and so appreciate She Bop for carrying a DVD that includes a fisting scene, Live Sex Show. Most DVD distributors shy away from allowing fisting to be included in their movies because they’ve been warned that they might be faced with obscenity charges. While G-spot ejaculation has (thankfully) become more common place in porn, it is another item that was similarly avoided. I hope to see fisting make a strong appearance in movies and I hope this film can help to lead the way. We’ve seen a lot of “how to ejaculate” sex ed movie guides. Wouldn’t it be amazing to see some that involved vaginal and anal fisting of various genders?

What do you love about fisting? Tell us about your fondest fisting experience.

I love that fisting can be something spontaneous as much as it can be something planned. It’s something I don’t always want, something I initially might not be in the mood for… but when it happens, it’s utterly gratifying. There’s something about the act that makes me feel as if my vagina has a mind of it’s own. It will know when it wants it, and when it doesn’t. It’s like my body becomes the ultimate consenting factor, making the rules and calling the shots. It’s the difference between “This is good, I’m liking this just the way it is and exactly what you’re doing. I’m in bliss” and the hole-hungry: “More fingers. More pressure. More! I’m feeling GREEDY!!!”

For me, the feeling of fisting is full and warm and with so much pressure I feel that my orgasm could be pushed UP through my body, rather than centralized in my pelvis. It’s like I can feel the wave to come start to come out my sternum, my heart palpitates; it comes with an incredibly intense orgasm for me. And when I’m the giver? I can come through my hand. I can get off on the building timing of the motion of my hand inside someone, the sensation of wet internal heat so hot that it steams in winter sex. The pruning of my fingers from lengthy sex with fluid-bond lovers, or when my digits quietly go numb from sex so good it distracts from funny arm angles, and when you withdraw, you have to shake out the pins and needles.

One fond fisting experience was actually an almost-fisting. I like to think that even getting close to fisting can count. Sex is so varied, why place a hierarchy and say one’s supposed to be better or more complete than another? It was a surprise almost-fisting, a hole being hungrier than I thought it was.

A number of years ago, I found myself on a roof top in San Francisco, leading my lover and her wife with feet crunching over gravel and tar as we hopped a fence for a night-time view of the city, and a place to get a little frisky without getting caught. I leaned over the ledge looking out onto Market street, as my lover’s wife started to explore my ass with her slick gloved fingers. (If there’s any reason to love gloves, it’s for easy and clean outdoor adventures.)

The view, the precarious but safe position bent over the city, the sexual attention on me, the excitement around the experience, I was enjoying all of it. My ass was feeling amazing! I was pushing out to be received. And with each point of pressure inside me and against me, I felt the waves of orgasm start to swell. Being many years ago, the memories of what happened next are lost in time. But I do recall as we bagged up our gloves to toss in the trash and go back out on the streets, my lover’s wife glowing with fascination. “I almost fisted your ass,” she exclaimed. It was amazing. “Your ass was pulling my fingers up into it, almost to my fist!” While it was a not quite a fisting, I’ll take the almost-fist experience as one of my fondest. Unexpected, and thrilling.

The Cambria List, which was created in 2001 by an attorney for the porn industry, is often cited as the reason fisting is not shown in porn, and yet many things on the Cambria List (such as blindfolds, spitting, facials, and wax dripping) are shown without issue these days in mainstream porn. Why do you think fisting remains off-limits?

In general, I think mainstream pornography has formed a certain pattern of what are acceptable sex acts, and what is expected of performers. For example, in stereotypical lesbian pornography (cis women), we can see examples of very light digital penetration; the idea is that it’s designed for softcore or lots of vulva-specific sex such as tribing (scissoring) and oral sex. Of course this is a generalization, as we can see some hardcore companies making girl/girl work that pushes the boundaries using bright, large toys.

There’s also the theory that to use one’s fist might be seen as threatening to the assumed heterosexual cis male viewer, who might see a fist as something larger than a penis. This idea doesn’t seem to permeate into gay pornography however, where fisting is more common place, and at least in the US, less prosecuted. I’ve yet to see fisting in a heterosexual sex scene. (If you know of an example, please share the name of the title with me!)

I hope that in leading by example, directors bringing fisting into sex in a way that is seen as normal will help to have an effect on the market at large, and I think we’ve seen this with female ejaculation. As women-directed movies and queer-run studios create more examples of diverse sex acts, I think other companies may follow suit. While people are turning to the internet for porn more and more, DVD distribution and laws around what can be mailed to certain geographical areas may shift or become abandoned. I think the internet will help us learn to become more sex-positive, and ultimately more truthful, about desire, education, and the display of sex-positive media.

How do you plan to celebrate Fisting Day?

Well, on Sunday, October 21st, I plan to be spending much of it sitting at an internet cafe (hopefully somewhere nice and sunny) while publishing and reposting lots of exciting fisting day blog posts and other online participation! I’m not sure I’ll be fisting on that day, but I figure I might give self-fisting a shot at some point that day! If it happens, it happens, if not, I’ll have fun trying!