BDSM Gear Guide
We put together a helpful guide for curious minds ready to explore new dimensions of pleasure, trust, and sensation. If you’re new to BDSM, but want to expand your sexual repertoire, this is the place to start. We’ve compiled a range of products to help you narrow down the perfect pleasure tools for your next intimate adventure.
First, let’s discuss BDSM
BDSM stands for Bondage/Discipline, Dominance/Submission, and Sadism/Masochism. It’s an umbrella term that encompasses a wide range of practices that play with psychological power dynamics and physically intense stimulation. BDSM is practiced by a wide array of people, and is gaining popularity as sexual education becomes more prominent. If you’re new to the BDSM space, you may want to take a peak at the BDSM test to dip your toes into the world of possibilities and get a feel for your proclivities.
For our purposes, we’ll be breaking down the product recommendations into the following categories: restraints & deprivation, impact toys, and sensation play. Of course, this is only scratching the surface of the BDSM world, but with a few pieces of quality gear from each category, you’ll unlock a whole spectrum of possibilities.
To ensure safe and empowering play, always remember the three golden rules:
Consent is non-negotiable: Always take the time to discuss desires, limits, and safe words before you play. Especially if you’re trying a new activity or you’re playing with a new partner.
Start Slow & Communicate: Begin with gentle sensations, building up intensity as you check in. Whether you have an established safe-word or not, anyone is allowed to end a scene at any point for any reason.
Take education seriously: While a lot of activities are relatively safe for beginners, there is inherent risk to playing with intense emotions and sensations. Some practices can be very dangerous if done incorrectly, so always take the time to educate yourself properly. Please check out our fantastic education program to learn more about a variety of practices from the top sex educators in the field.
Category is… Restraints
Our first stop is bondage and deprivation. In this category you’ll find beautiful restraints from collars to cuffs, as well as rope, and blind folds. This is an enormous category and could easily warrant its own guide, we encourage you to peruse all the options on our website. Here are few of our favorites
Collars
Collars can symbolize submission in D/s dynamics, the o-ring can also be used functionally, or they can simply enhance the aesthetics as a stunning accessory. They are a perfect, low-impact starting point.
Stockroom Heart Lock Collar
This sleek leather choker is an ideal first purchase. It's a great statement you can wear out, building a sense of power and connection. The heart unlocks using an included key. It’s a gateway to exploring the psychological side of power dynamics.
Sabersmyth Posture Collar
This elegant, locking collar is a high-end investment in a specific sensation. It gently encourages upright posture, creating a constant, physical reminder of a scene or dynamic.
Lulexy Leather Collar and Leash
Crafted from high-end leather and suede, this collar and detachable leash feels like luxury. The soft material is gentle on the skin, perfect for prolonged wear and functional bondage.
Cuffs, Spreader Bars & rope
Restraint is about trust and surrender. These pieces are designed for comfort, style, and versatility.
Sabersmyth Cuff Set
This is a heirloom-quality toolkit for restraint. The set’s versatility allows for wrists, ankles, or attachment points. It speaks to a commitment to safe, secure, and durable play.
Sportsheets Adjustable Spreader Bar
These bars keep limbs comfortably apart, introducing a thrilling sense of exposure and vulnerability. It offers a customizable and comfortable first experience. Bars are a cornerstone of predicament bondage, where the restrained person's position creates the "challenge."
Kink Lab Bondage Tape
This shiny, black, PVC tape sticks only to itself, not skin or hair, making it easy to use and comfortable. Unlike rope, the bondage tape doesn’t require you to know specific ties and is safer to use for beginners. With 65ft, you’ll have plenty to play with.
Cotton Rope
Shibari, the Japanese art of bondage, has become very popular in recent years. She Bop hosts introductory classes throughout the year. So grab this versatile, body-safe, cotton rope to practice your knots after class!
Category is… Impact Play
Paddles, Floggers, Canes
Impact play is about creating waves of sensation—from a gentle thud to a sharp sting. It's a deeply physical form of connection.
A Quick Note on Starting Impact Play: Always begin on fleshy, muscular areas like the buttocks or upper thighs. Avoid bones, joints, and the lower back. Check-in with your partner as you start light and slowly increase intensity based on continuous feedback. Remember, the key to impact play is about creating rhythm, not about how hard you deliver blows.
Sportsheets Fur Lined Paddle
A classic beginner's tool. This broad, double-sided leather and fur paddle delivers a deep, thuddy sensation that spreads impact evenly, making it a forgiving and pleasurable start. You can begin with the soft side and flip it over to provide a more intense sensation when you’re ready.
Spartacus Vegan Flogger
This flogger crafter with vegan leather offer a sharper, more focused sting. Polyurethane is easy to clean and provides a crisp sound. A flogger, like this one, with many soft tails can also be used for gentle, teasing drags across the skin.
Category is… Sensation Play
Sensual Intimacy & Reconnection
This category uses temperature, texture, and surprise to awaken the body's nerve endings. It's about getting in the zone, building anticipation, and creating contrasting sensations.
Make Me Melt
Dripping hot wax is a staple of sensation play. However, you need skin-safe candles that are made from 100% paraffin, to ensure they don’t leave burns. These candles are the perfect introduction. They come in alluring colors and offer only a tinlge of heat when used properly. As a note, make sure to drip from a minimum of 36 inches to the skin so the wax has enough time to cool.
Spartacus Wartenberg Pinwheel Set
A classic tool featuring a small wheel with tiny pins. While it looks very intimidating, rolling it lightly over the skin creates a thrilling, tickling or prickling sensation. This set allows you to change the number of pins which can range from teasing to intense. Perhaps counterintuitive, but the larger amount of pins provides more diffused sensation than the single row.