Ask She Bop: Lesbian Bed Death No More

Dear She Bop,

I've been married to my incredible wife for twenty years (in June). While we're very much in love, we've ended up in the classic lesbian conundrum: bed death. We had a vibrant sex life when we originally got together, but nearly two decades later, with kids, work, and life, it's hard to find time for passion. That is, until a month ago, when I walked in on my wife masturbating.

I guess I shouldn't have been surprised, but for some reason, I thought my wife simply wasn't interested in sex anymore. Seeing her, even for just a brief second, fully enjoying herself was an incredible turn on. She was definitely embarrassed at first, but luckily, we were able to have a great conversation where we both admitted that we wanted more physical intimacy. I don't know why it took us so long to come to that realization. It feels like we’re now play catch up for all the lost time.

I came in to your store on Monday, and the person working helped me find this fabulous book, Girl Sex 101. My wife and I have been flipping through it together before bed. I realized that I have never worn a strap, but reading about it got me super curious. I'm quite nervous, not sure were to start, but my wife said she would be willing to try. Do you have any advice for us?

Love,

Nervous Willy

Dear Nervous Willy,

Thank you so much for reaching out. I love that you and your wife have been able to rekindle your intimacy. I'm also happy that you were able to find an inspiring book during your last visit! As for strapping...

Unfortunately, you just missed our class, Strap It To Me: Strap On Sex for Everybody, taught by Gretchen Leigh. This class was designed to teach you everything you needed to know about straps to give you some extra cock-confidence. While you can't attend live and ask questions, we do have the recording available on our website if you still want to check it out!

I would also encourage you to talk to your wife about her preferences when it comes to dildos. When it comes to picking out the perfect one, size does matter! We also have a large assortment of styles, from hyper-realistic to sparkly and whimsical. Once you have an idea of what works for both of you, we can fit you with a snug harness that won’t move around too much. We also have some options here - from comfortable dildo-compatible underwear to high-end leather and everything in between. Finding something that feels good for you and stays in place will enhance your experience.

Lastly, make sure you and your wife keep that good communication going in the bedroom. It’s more fun if both of you are able to tell each other what is and isn't working in the moment, so you can adjust.

Feel free to pop by whenever if you have more questions!

Love,

She Bop