Stella Harris
Certified Intimacy Educator & Professional Coach (She/Her)
Stella Harris is a certified intimacy educator, sex coach, and author. You may have seen her perform at storytelling events, heard her on a podcast, or read one of her articles or books. She’s been offering sex, kink, and relationship workshops for more than a decade! Stella’s wide-ranging expertise has led to being featured on the evening news discussing the importance of sex education in schools, being sent with a press pass to a strip club to report on Stormy Daniels, appearing as an expert witness in court, and even speaking as an authority on banana slug mating habits. Stella is the author of two books, Tongue Tied: Untangling Communication in Sex, Kink, and Relationships, and The Ultimate Guide to Threesomes. Her short stories have appeared in numerous anthologies including Best Women’s Erotica and The Big Book of Bondage. Stella teaches classes for She Bop that focus on the topics of her books, plus many other subjects including: exploring bisexuality, queer safer sex, pleasure anatomy, and kink & BDSM.
amoryjane.com
triumphantunfolding.com
Talking doesn’t ruin the mood!
In fact, clear communication is the best way to improve your sex life (and your relationships.) If you feel awkward about speaking up, start small. "Harder or softer," "faster or slower." Making a simple choice is often easier in the moment, and it provides immediate, actionable information. When you start getting the hang of it, level up to open-ended questions.
Favorite G-Spot Toy
The nJoy Pure Wand
The nJoy Pure Wand is my favorite toy for g-spot and prostate play. Its curve, length, and weight make it easy to use on your own body to stimulate areas that would be difficult to reach by hand, and it's also easy to hold on to if using it on a partner's body. I also love that it's made from steel, which makes clean-up simple and safe to use with multiple people (after cleaning.) The metal can also be warmed up or cooled down if you want to add some temperature play to the mix.
Fav Safer Sex Product:
Nitrile Gloves
I'm a huge advocate for using gloves during all kinds of sexy play. Nitrile gloves are the best bet because some folks have a latex allergy. For hand sex, whether you're stimulating a g-spot or prostate, gloves help soften any rough edges from fingernails or calluses. Wearing gloves also helps your lube last longer, as the skin of your hands won't absorb the moisture. Wearing gloves also makes clean-up much easier and helps keep track of fluid safety when playing with multiple partners.
Nightstand Essentials
This is my go-to lube. I love its body-safe ingredients. Sliquid H20 is water-based, so it's compatible with barrier products and toys.
The long handle makes it easy to use on your own body or on someone else's, in a variety of positions. It works with some Liberator products if you'd like to use it hands-free. And it comes with attachments if you'd like to add g-spot penetration, or use it with a penis sleeve. The controls are also easy to figure out by feel, in the dark. And the rechargeable version lasts a long time before needing to be plugged in. (And if you didn't plan in advance, you can use it while plugged in, too.)
This book by Emily Nagoski does an amazing job of digging into the science of sex and intimacy, while using language that's accessible.