The Ultimate Blow Job Guide
Giving a blow job can be a pleasurable experience for both the giver and receiver when done with enthusiasm, skill, and mutual consent. Whether you're new to oral sex or looking to refine your technique, we’re here to cover everything from communication and safety to advanced tips for maximum pleasure.
The Importance of Communication
Before diving in, you need to talk to your partner - especially if you aren’t familiar with one another sexually. Everyone has different preferences, so discussing boundaries, desires, and comfort levels ensures a positive experience. Talking about sex doesn’t have to be awkward, ask some genuine questions. There’s no one way to approach sex talks, but try to lean in to curiosity. Here are a few topics you can touch on.
General Likes: "What do you enjoy most during oral sex?"
Limits and Dislikes: "Are there any sensitive areas I should avoid?"
Techniques: "How do you like the pace—slow and teasing or fast and intense?"
Remember that some people struggle to verbally express their desires. If your partner struggles to answer open-ended questions or doesn’t like to talk about sex outside of the bedroom, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t communicate. You can always ask either/or questions (for example, “do you want me to speed up or slow down?”) during the act. Some people express themselves using body language, but sometimes this is harder to pick up on if you aren’t used to this communication style.
Setting the Mood
Creating a relaxed, sexy atmosphere can make the experience more enjoyable. Consider:
Hygiene: While it’s normal for our bodies to have natural odors and flavors, a quick wash beforehand can make the experience more pleasant for everyone.
One quick note: Avoid brushing teeth right before (tiny cuts from the bristles can increase the risk of contracting a STI .
Hydrate: No one wants a dry or sticky blow job. Try to drink some water before you give oral sex for a more comfortable experience.
Foreplay: Avoid going diving straight in, take your time instead. Kissing, touching, and teasing builds anticipation.
Physical Comfort: Find a position that prevents strain so your mind isn’t drifting to discomfort. You can give blow jobs while kneeling, lying down, or using pillows, depending on what you prefer.
Condoms: Practicing safer-sex is important. STI’s can be transmitted through oral sex too. Unless you and your partner have been recently tested and are sexually exclusive, it’s a good idea to use barriers during any sex act which exchanges fluids.
Basic Blow Job Techniques
After you’ve set the mood, start with a warm-up. Use your hands first to stimulate the shaft and head. Lightly lick or kiss the inner thighs and base to build excitement. The “strandard sex script” often encourages people to rush through oral sex so they can get to the “real” thing, usually meaning penetrative penis-in-vagina sex. This script is misleading. There are many different ways to enjoy sex, and penetration doesn’t have to be the star of the show (if it happens at all.) Try to slow down, and prolong the blow job. Done right, it can be the main event!
Next, you can escalate sensation by licking and teasing. Run your tongue along the underside of the shaft (a highly sensitive area). Swirl your tongue around the head for added stimulation. The gland, much like the clit, is the part of the penis with the most nerve endings. You can intensify sensation by stimulating the glands, but don’t neglect the other parts.
Once your partner is adequately turned on, add some suction motion. Start slow, taking just the head into your mouth. Use a combination of sucking and up-and-down hand motions. Vary pressure—gentle suction at first, then firmer if desired. This is a good-time to ask for some feedback from your partner. A quick, “does that feel good?” allows your partner to tell you how they’re doing. Remember that checking-in can also be delivered as dirty talk!
If you’re up for it, you can incorporate some deep throating. Not everyone enjoys or can do deep throating—that’s okay! If you want to try, relax your throat (like yawning) and go slowly. Use your hand to control depth if needed. With the rise of popularity in facial abuse porn, some people will try to push their partner’s head to force deep throating, even to the point of gagging - unless you’ve specifically recieved consent beforehand, don’t do that. Deep throating takes practice, and the experience can quickly go south if you no longer feel like you’re in control because your partner is behaving aggressively. Enjoyable sex means practicing mutual respect.
To Swallow or Not To Swallow…
Pay attention to your partner’s body language, heavy breathing and muscle tension can be an indicator they are close to finishing. When your partner comes, you have a few options - to swallow, to spit, or to come somewhere else. There’s not a right or wrong answer, once again, people have different preferences. Spitting is not always a viable option, depending on what ammenities are at your disposal. But if swallowing isn’t something you’re comfortable with, you can have your partner come on another part of your body, into a towel, or on the bed (if you’re okay with this). Again, a lot of mainstream porn glorify the cum shot, but that doesn’t mean you have to be down with receiving a facial or pearl necklace. Think about what you’re most comfortable with and talk about it beforehand if you can.
Additional Techniques
Once you’ve got the basics down, you can always change it up by incorporating other elements. Here are some things to try:
The Twist: Rotate your hand in a spiraling motion as you move up and down the shaft for added sensation. Obviously, do this to a well-lubricated penis - you’re not trying to give them a skin burn by ferociously twisting their dick!
Ball Play: Gently cup or massage the testicles if your partner enjoys it. You can also incorporate ball-stretching to add a different sensation when they come.
Anal Play: You can insert a finger (or more) into your partner’s butt while you give them a blow job, or use a plug or dildo to enhance the expereince. Make sure to use lube.
Cock Rings: ristricting blood circulation can help the penis stay hard, this can also create a new sensation while receiving head.
Temperature Play: Incorporate warm and cool sensations for added pleasure. You can try ice cubes, stainless steel toys, or body-safe wax.
Power Play: you can incorporate verbal domination, humilation, praise or other D/s dynamics to add a psychological component.
69: Mutual oral sex can be a fun way to explore giving and receiving pleasure at the same time.
These are just a few ideas to help you expand your blow job routine. But there’s an endless amount of additional techniques that you can incorporate. It’s okay to experiment, even if your partner isn’t particularly enthusiastic about a certain method, it’s good information to have. If you’re getting stuck giving the same blow job, try to have fun and shake things up. You can always check out our educational classes, where we regularly bring in blow job experts to teach advanced techniques.
A great blow job is about enthusiasm, communication, and paying attention to your partner’s responses. There’s no "one right way"—experimenting and having fun is what makes sex enjoyable.
