Communication in the Bedroom: Asking For What You Want

Sunday, October 9th — 7:30 p.m. — $15

Knowing what you want isn’t as easy as it sounds, and asking for it can be even trickier. Honesty puts us in a vulnerable place, opening us up to rejection or shame. People of all genders and sexualities have a lot of cultural baggage to work through, from messages implying that wanting sex or pleasure is slutty (and that that’s a bad thing) to ubiquitous sex tips that make it sound like we’re supposed to read our partners’ minds.

All of this sets us up for failure, and many people never take the chance to open a dialogue with their partner(s). But being able to talk about your wants and needs is the only way to get them met.

In this class we’ll talk about styles of communication, ways to put yourself and your partner at ease, and specific examples of tools and phrases to try. We’ll discuss how to start the conversation and how to incorporate communication into dirty talk. Not sure what to ask for? We’ll talk about some common fantasies you might want to try.

As always, there will be time for Q&A, and all genders and orientations are welcome.

Stella Harris is an author, educator, and coach who focuses on intimacy and connection. As a certified Intimacy Educator, she uses a variety of tools to guide and empower her clients and she teaches everything from pleasure anatomy, to communication skills, to kink and BDSM. She has presented classes for a variety of organizations including the Portland Leather Alliance, the Portland Academy of Sex Ed, Sex Positive Portland, and more, and has spoken at Portland State University, Reed College, and Pacific University. Stella is widely published in print and online, from erotic fiction to educational and lifestyle pieces on sex and kink.

Stella hopes to build a world where everyone has the tools and confidence to explore their sexuality safely and free of shame.

This class has already taken place. Thanks for attending!