Eli Sheff
PhD, CSE
Have you considered consensual nonmonogamy (CNM) and are not sure where to start? Tried it and want to do it better? Terrified of it but in love with someone who wants it? Not sure what it is? Dr. Eli is here to help! With more than 30 years researching consensual nonmonogamies, Dr. Eli Sheff is the foremost academic expert on polyamorous families with children. Dr. Eli has a PhD in sociology and is a Certified Sexuality Educator who has written four books and 30+ academic articles on nonmonogamies and BDSM/kinky sex. She serves as a relationship coach, educator, and expert witness. Nonmonogamy is certainly not for everyone, and Dr. Eli can help people understand how it can work and why, and when it is a bad idea. She has appeared on hundreds of podcasts, television shows, and media interviews with outlets from NPR, National Geographic, and the New York Times to Cosmopolitan and Savage Love. Dr. Eli blogs for Psychology Today and always wants to make friends with dogs. She teaches about consensual nonmonogamies, BDSM, and families of sex and gender minorities for She Bop.
It is OK to be different from your partner(s) and other people!
We can revel in each others' differences, enjoy the spiciness of exploring new aspects of ourselves that come out to meet the differences in our partners, and grow into unexpected synergies. Release the fear of difference and embrace the joy of diversity!
Nightstand Essentials
Queer: A Graphic History
One of my very favorite authors is Meg John Barker, a prolific writer whose beautiful style is surpassed only by their excellent information and compassionate vibe. Barker has written such gems as Rewriting the Rules: An Anti-Self-Help Guide to Love, Sex, and Relationships; Queer: A Graphic History; and How to Understand your Relationships: A Practical Guide.
Uberlube
I prefer Uberlube because it is safe for toys, stays silky and smooth without getting tacky, and keeps everything feeling nicely slidey!
Romp Reverb
My trusty Romp Reverb is my favorite toy becuase it gives clitoral and g spot stimulation simultaneously, with separate controls that customize speed and strength of each end. I like the airflow feeling better than vibration for clitoral stimulation, and the smaller size of the g spot stimulator makes it perfect some someone like me who is not into huge penetration.