Browsing posts tagged with communication
Feb
12

Nasty Naughty Negotiation!

Sunday, April 16th — 7:30 p.m. — $15

Liz PowellAre you looking for ways to have better sex? Do you feel like it’s hard to come to a good agreement about what you want to do without killing the mood? Want to learn how to talk dirty in delicious ways?

Have your hottest sex and best “scene” by opening your mouth! Good communication skills are at the heart of success in relationships, and this goes doubly when it comes to sex and kink. In this class, Dr. Liz Powell will teach you how to have the hottest sex you’ve ever had by honing your communication skills. In this class, we will:

  • Learn how to make the conversation about what you want into a steamy session of foreplay.
  • Discuss kink and dive into dirty talk.
  • Show you how to talk about sex before, after, and during in a way that won’t kill the mood or break your D/s dynamic.
  • Cover how and when to give your partner feedback to improve your experience and how to ask for feedback so you can make your partner’s experience unforgettable!

This class includes optional partnered exercises (speaking and touch) to practice talking dirty and negotiating touch.

Dr. Liz Powell is a psychologist and coach offering therapy, business coaching, and wellbeing coaching through her San Francisco private practice, Sex-Positive Psych. Liz also blogs about issues related to sex and relationships and regularly presents talks and workshops. She has presented at CatalystCon, Atlanta Poly Weekend, and the AASECT Conference. Liz brings a sense of humor mixed with professional knowledge to otherwise serious topics and helps people think in new ways about their options.

Limited space available — sign up online!

Oct
2

Nasty Naughty Negotiation!

Thursday, November 17th — 7:30 p.m. — $15

Liz PowellAre you looking for ways to have better sex? Do you feel like it’s hard to come to a good agreement about what you want to do without killing the mood? Want to learn how to talk dirty in delicious ways?

Have your hottest sex and best “scene” by opening your mouth! Good communication skills are at the heart of success in relationships, and this goes doubly when it comes to sex and kink. In this class, Dr. Liz Powell will teach you how to have the hottest sex you’ve ever had by honing your communication skills. In this class, we will:

  • Learn how to make the conversation about what you want into a steamy session of foreplay.
  • Discuss kink and dive into dirty talk.
  • Show you how to talk about sex before, after, and during in a way that won’t kill the mood or break your D/s dynamic.
  • Cover how and when to give your partner feedback to improve your experience and how to ask for feedback so you can make your partner’s experience unforgettable!

This class includes optional partnered exercises (speaking and touch) to practice talking dirty and negotiating touch.

Dr. Liz Powell is a psychologist and coach offering therapy, business coaching, and wellbeing coaching through her San Francisco private practice, Sex-Positive Psych. Liz also blogs about issues related to sex and relationships and regularly presents talks and workshops. She has presented at CatalystCon, Atlanta Poly Weekend, and the AASECT Conference. Liz brings a sense of humor mixed with professional knowledge to otherwise serious topics and helps people think in new ways about their options.

This class has already taken place. Thanks for attending!

Jul
31

Communication in the Bedroom: Asking For What You Want

Stella HarrisSunday, October 9th — 7:30 p.m. — $15

Knowing what you want isn’t as easy as it sounds, and asking for it can be even trickier. Honesty puts us in a vulnerable place, opening us up to rejection or shame. People of all genders and sexualities have a lot of cultural baggage to work through, from messages implying that wanting sex or pleasure is slutty (and that that’s a bad thing) to ubiquitous sex tips that make it sound like we’re supposed to read our partners’ minds.

All of this sets us up for failure, and many people never take the chance to open a dialogue with their partner(s). But being able to talk about your wants and needs is the only way to get them met.

In this class we’ll talk about styles of communication, ways to put yourself and your partner at ease, and specific examples of tools and phrases to try. We’ll discuss how to start the conversation and how to incorporate communication into dirty talk. Not sure what to ask for? We’ll talk about some common fantasies you might want to try.

As always, there will be time for Q&A, and all genders and orientations are welcome.

Stella Harris is an author, educator, and coach who focuses on intimacy and connection. As a certified Intimacy Educator, she uses a variety of tools to guide and empower her clients and she teaches everything from pleasure anatomy, to communication skills, to kink and BDSM. She has presented classes for a variety of organizations including the Portland Leather Alliance, the Portland Academy of Sex Ed, Sex Positive Portland, and more, and has spoken at Portland State University, Reed College, and Pacific University. Stella is widely published in print and online, from erotic fiction to educational and lifestyle pieces on sex and kink.

Stella hopes to build a world where everyone has the tools and confidence to explore their sexuality safely and free of shame.

This class has already taken place. Thanks for attending!

Jan
17

Communication in the Bedroom: Asking For What You Want

Stella HarrisSunday, March 13th — 7:30 p.m. — $15

Knowing what you want isn’t as easy as it sounds, and asking for it can be even trickier. Honesty puts us in a vulnerable place, opening us up to rejection or shame. People of all genders and sexualities have a lot of cultural baggage to work through, from messages implying that wanting sex or pleasure is slutty (and that that’s a bad thing) to ubiquitous sex tips that make it sound like we’re supposed to read our partners’ minds.

All of this sets us up for failure, and many people never take the chance to open a dialogue with their partner(s). But being able to talk about your wants and needs is the only way to get them met.

In this class we’ll talk about styles of communication, ways to put yourself and your partner at ease, and specific examples of tools and phrases to try. We’ll discuss how to start the conversation and how to incorporate communication into dirty talk. Not sure what to ask for? We’ll talk about some common fantasies you might want to try.

As always, there will be time for Q&A, and all genders and orientations are welcome.

Stella Harris is an author, educator, and coach who focuses on intimacy and connection. As a certified Intimacy Educator, she uses a variety of tools to guide and empower her clients and she teaches everything from pleasure anatomy, to communication skills, to kink and BDSM. She has presented classes for a variety of organizations including the Portland Leather Alliance, the Portland Academy of Sex Ed, Sex Positive Portland, and more, and has spoken at Portland State University, Reed College, and Pacific University. Stella is widely published in print and online, from erotic fiction to educational and lifestyle pieces on sex and kink.

Stella hopes to build a world where everyone has the tools and confidence to explore their sexuality safely and free of shame.

This class has already taken place. Thanks for attending!

Jul
28

Communication in the Bedroom: Asking For What You Want

Stella HarrisWednesday, September 30th — 7:30 p.m. — $15

Knowing what you want isn’t as easy as it sounds, and asking for it can be even trickier. Honesty puts us in a vulnerable place, opening us up to rejection or shame. People of all genders and sexualities have a lot of cultural baggage to work through, from messages implying that wanting sex or pleasure is slutty (and that that’s a bad thing) to ubiquitous sex tips that make it sound like we’re supposed to read our partners’ minds.

All of this sets us up for failure, and many people never take the chance to open a dialogue with their partner(s). But being able to talk about your wants and needs is the only way to get them met.

In this class we’ll talk about styles of communication, ways to put yourself and your partner at ease, and specific examples of tools and phrases to try. We’ll discuss how to start the conversation and how to incorporate communication into dirty talk. Not sure what to ask for? We’ll talk about some common fantasies you might want to try.

As always, there will be time for Q&A, and all genders and orientations are welcome.

Stella Harris is an author, educator, and coach who focuses on intimacy and connection. As a certified Intimacy Educator, she uses a variety of tools to guide and empower her clients and she teaches everything from pleasure anatomy, to communication skills, to kink and BDSM. She has presented classes for a variety of organizations including the Portland Leather Alliance, the Portland Academy of Sex Ed, Sex Positive Portland, and more, and has spoken at Portland State University, Reed College, and Pacific University. Stella is widely published in print and online, from erotic fiction to educational and lifestyle pieces on sex and kink.

Stella hopes to build a world where everyone has the tools and confidence to explore their sexuality safely and free of shame.

This class has already taken place. Thanks for attending!

Jan
30

Getting the Sex You Want with Reid Mihalko and Allison Moon

Tuesday, February 26th — 7:30 p.m. — $20

Reid Mihalko and Allison Moon

Learn to speak up in the sack!

Asking for what you want can make even the most experienced sex geek panic. But there’s no better way to get the sex you want than by asking for it! In this playful and energetic workshop, sex-ed pros Reid Mihalko and Allison Moon will help you find your voice, discover your desires, and get what you want in bed!

In this 90-minute, humorous and insightful workshop you’ll learn:

  • How to decide when’s the right time to speak up
  • Fun ways to integrate “upgrades” and experimentation into your existing sex life
  • How to initiate difficult conversations
  • How to negotiate different needs for safer sex
  • Tips for sharing kinks in non-scary ways
  • The “Appreciation Sandwich”
  • How to try new things together
  • Tricks for getting your needs met when your partner isn’t on board

Reid Mihalko is a sex and relationship expert who lectures at colleges across the country and has presented and keynoted at dozens of conferences on relationships and sexuality. Reid has been a writer, producer, consultant, and guest on a number of films and television projects, appearing as an expert on subjects ranging from infidelity and sex addiction to dating and marriage, from jealousy and non-monogamy to gender dynamics and sexual tips and tricks. His website is ReidAboutSex.

Allison Moon is a writer and sex educator based in Northern California. Her writing has been published in Not For Tourists, Nerve, McSweeney’s, and Psychopedia. She was recently named a fellow for the Lambda Literary Foundation’s Emerging LGBT Writer’s Program. As a sex educator, Allison has presented at the Center for Sex and Culture in San Francisco, Dark Odyssey, and Sexy Spirits in New York City. She blogs about gender, sexuality, writing and creativity at her website, Tales of the Pack.

This class has already taken place. Thanks for attending!

Sep
25

Science proves that communication and flexibility make relationships better

It seems that when scientific studies tackle something sex-related, their findings are often just verification of what sexperts have been talking about for years (remember when scientists proved that stimulation of the clitoris and stimulation of the vagina activate different regions of the brain?). But there’s still something satisfying about qualitative research backing up these things. Two recent studies reminded us of this.

The first study, conducted by Elizabeth Babin, an expert on health communication at Cleveland State University, asked participants to complete surveys about their own personal sexual communication (both non-verbal and verbal), sexual self-esteem, and sexual satisfaction. 207 people participated.

As it turns out, low apprehension about sexual communication plus high sexual self-esteem were linked to more communication during sex, and communication during sex was linked to more sexual satisfaction. Vice versa, apprehension over talking about sex caused less sexual satisfaction overall. Moral of the story: communicate with your partner! It’s good for you!

The second study, published in the Journal of Sex Research and undertaken by researchers at the University of Arizona and Hanover College, studied “sexual transformations” — changes that people make to their sex lives for the sake of their partners — and how they impact relationships. 96 couples were asked about sexual changes they made — such as frequency of sex and types of sexual activity — and how they felt about them. They were also asked how often they cuddled, because why not?

The results showed that folks reported higher levels of relationship satisfaction when their partners were willing to undergo “sexual transformations” for them. Also, those who felt more positive about the changes reported higher levels of relationship satisfaction. Overall, a willingness to adapt and be flexible when it comes to sexual activity seems to be a positive force in relationships — which isn’t much of a shock.

Writer Debby Herbenick sums it up nicely:

As with movies, drinks and food, it’s common for people in relationships to have different preferences. One person likes beer and the other digs wine. One likes action flicks and the other favors anything starring Audrey Tautou. One likes vanilla intercourse and the other wants to hold a vibrator to their partner’s clitoris while she’s upside down in wheelbarrow, wearing a pirate costume.

Nearly all couples have different wants and needs, likes and dislikes, when it comes to sex. And that’s OK. Very few couples line up exactly in terms of how often they want to have sex, the positions they want to twist their bodies into, how long they want to spend from kissing to falling asleep, and the types of sex they want to engage in. What matters is how couples fill in those gaps — how they make changes for each other, how they feel about and approach the ways they’re willing to bend, and how they stay connected through affection.

Also, unsurprisingly, cuddling (and kissing, massaging, and hugging) resulted in higher levels of relationship satisfaction. Moral of the story: cuddle often, and be, as Dan Savage says, “good, giving, and game.”

It should be interesting to see what comes next in the field of sex research. Elizabeth Babin’s next move is to research couples and their communication styles as they relate to sexual satisfaction. Ultimately, she is hoping to develop ideas for therapists and sex educators in teaching folks how to discuss sex more freely with their partners. A very good goal, we think!

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