Oct
28

Amory Jane tries the Womanizer

WomanizerThe Womanizer is a very strange sex toy. With its regrettable name and gaudy design, we weren’t sure what to think of it. It promises a unique functionality — gentle suction directly on the clitoris — but would it deliver? We sent a tester home with one of our staff to get the scoop.

I am pleasantly surprised by the Womanizer. I don’t really understand how it works as well as it does or how I could like it so much. I mean, just look at the thing. It looks like an ear thermometer. It is tacky as all get out. The name is terrible. The case is the Pepto-Bismol pink. The vibration is not strong, the suction is really mild (it reminds me of flowing air more than actual suction), and it sounds like a purring cat.

Yet, somehow, this air flow design works. In fact, the first time I used it, it worked a little too well. I turned it all the way up because when I tried it on my finger I could barely feel it, so I assumed it was going to be really light and need to be cranked up to do anything for me. Ha! That was an incorrect assumption. The Womanizer took me from zero to orgasm in under 45 seconds, and I barely even moved my hands or put in much effort.

Cool, but also… whoa.

In the Womanizer’s promo material, they describe it as having “pulsating pressure waves” and I think that is a pretty good description. It kind of reminds me of cunnilingus, when a partner gently applies suction to the clitoris and does so by very delicately holding the clit between their front teeth/with their lips. I’m talking about a super gentle and rhythmic suction, not a direct clit blowjob type of suction.

It’s quite a nice feeling, though. Unique. I am not sure how well it would work for people who require more intense stimulation, but since it is so different, it’s hard to say. For context: I’m good with most of my vibrators on a medium setting. I am one of those people who needs a layer of fabric between me and my Magic Wand or else it’s too much. I can get off easily with pretty much any toy and most kinds of stimulation from a human, as long as they are in the same neighborhood as my clitoris.

Still, I think this toy could be really nice for some folks. Especially folks who like clit stimulation but don’t like or want a lot of pressure or movement or a rumbling electronic feel. It is easy to hold and doesn’t require a lot of movement, so I wonder if it could work well for some people with limited mobility. The buttons also make sense and are easy to figure out during use, instead of having to bring the toy up to your face and put on reading glasses to see what the hell you’re supposed to be clicking.

I tried the Womanizer in a variety of ways, and I personally found it worked best when I was solo and on my back or standing. It did work during penetration, which I didn’t expect, but it isn’t a cute small thing that can fit easily between partners. It required partners to be on their knees with their back upright or for me to be really upright when on top, in order to have room to hold the toy and keep it in the right place for the most secure seal. Getting that good “seal” seems to be the key, and without it the purring noise gets louder (and that was definitely distracting for one of my partners).

My experience with the Womanizer reminds me of falling in love with an unexpected person. “You don’t have the qualities I usually look for in a partner. I don’t really understand my fond feelings toward you. You don’t look like ‘my type’… but maybe I was being too limiting with ‘my type.’ All I know is that you make me feel good and the things I first thought were going to be unattractive are things that I now think are charming.”

Like that purring noise and giant craft store jewel they call a button.

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